Think
Essays, rankings & data — thoughts on technology and culture.
Juno Grey Finally Learned the Words
After six cuts, a tattoo crisis, and three hours directing Claude from the pool at resort spa, Juno Grey finally learned to lip-sync.
Nolanverse
An interactive data story about Christopher Nolan's filmography, built as a wall of CRT monitors — one per film, each running a live visualization. Click any screen to open its dossier, explore cross-film analyses, and build your own ranking. Every number is sourced from IMDb and Wikipedia.
The Forbidden Fruit of AI
Or: How My Substack Posting Schedule Accidentally Became an AI Adoption Curve
I Rented a 20x Brain for 30 Days
Claude Code Max made me limitless… and then I had to give it back.
2025 OnlyFans Spending in the United States
An interactive infographic visualizing U.S. OnlyFans spending data by state, city, and census division. Features Chart.js bar charts, polar area charts, doughnut breakdowns, and ranked city lists — all from 2025 data.
The Prompt Whisperer: Notes From My Sora Spiral
How I accidentally spent a week trying to outsmart an AI video model that refuses to believe my pop star is real.
Beyond the Bell Curve
A statistical analysis ranking the most improbable single-game performances in sports history, anchored by Bam Adebayo's 83-point eruption against the Wizards.
The Cory Booker Awards for Most Unbelievable Bathroom-less Performance in Cinema
Because sometimes, holding it is heroic.
The TemByte Absurdity Index™
The only time you’ll ever see Cast Away, Giorgio Armani, and Microsoft Paint in the same sentence.
The Pop Star Iconicity Index: 60 Years, 5 Winners, No Notes
An AI-powered ranking of the most iconic pop stars, decade by decade. Data-driven. Drama-enabled.
My Dog Might Be in an Anthropologie Ad
A true story about data privacy, AI brainrot, and the world’s most suspicious Frenchie.
Now Playing: Machine Bias
The HALmark Index scores the top 10 AI films — from Her to HAL to Han Solo’s GPS.
The Sheridan Verse
I asked three AI models to recreate a classic Grantland piece for the Taylor Sheridan universe. Claude and Gemini showed up with working visualizations.
The NBA's Middle Class: Where Did the Money Go?
My college thesis predicted that NBA salary inequality would grow — so I checked back in 10 years later to see if I was right.
Fat and Furious(ly Eating): Tokyo Drift
A culinary adventure through Japan's best eats.
The Redemption Arc of Clippy
How Microsoft's most hated mascot became ironically beloved.
The Empirical Ranking of Fictional Coaches
A very serious ranking of coaches from movies and TV.